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"tHeSiNs" [entries|friends|calendar]

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[13 Nov 2006|06:45pm]
shit do you have any idea how long its been, damn so much shit has happend like me goin out with dave, braking up, me and ashley not talking blah blah blah shit.
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[26 Aug 2006|04:48pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

late night i had an amazing time!!

and thank you jp for lendin me the money and the way you did it made me ssuper happy XD.


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[24 Aug 2006|01:19am]
[ mood | crushed ]

i fuckin hate eveeryone in my life right now. There is onl;y a very very few people that i don';t hate and i don't trust anyone especiially when they say one thing and do another. If you know who you are and you read this then make sure you never talk to me again cuz i fuckin hate the fact that your alway playing around with me i'm not like that and i don;t need anotyher person to fuck with my life and definatly don';t pull the bullshit that you love me cuz you obviously don't you fuckin dirrty cunt. I hate you and i want you to know that.

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[06 Aug 2006|02:51pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

i haven't updated in a while, just simply because i forgot/ was to lazy to sit here and recollect my thoughts. I have now decided to do so just to get a bunch of things off my chest.

For the past couple day i haven't been able to sleep at night and i end up falling asleep at 8am so I figured out that the most calming experience of my life is to watch the sun rise. The colour's that you see in the sky are *amazing* and just breathtaking. Sitting there watching brings me into deep thought, which isn't always good but it isn't all that bad. Everyone stay up or wake up at like 530 and watch the sunrise!!


The Flood XD is playing with teeter on the 25th :) i'm quite excited for that show.

That bring me to my next thought, the fact that if you have a problem with what I listen to or think that i'm a huge loser for listening to the flood and other band like them I'm perfectly fine with someone like you thinking that, or talking about it behind my back while you think i'm sleeping.... oh yeah guess what I WASN'T SLEEPING I heard everything, you fuckin ass! How dumb will you feel if I die today and for you said that for what reason... becuse I like a certain band or a couple similar bands. Maybe someday you'll realize that family will always be there, friends come and go. Just make sure that you don't expect such a loser/bitch to be there for you anymore.

That is all

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[23 Jul 2006|11:46pm]
well i haven't updated ina while theres been a bunch of stuff but i'm too lazy to type anything, I'm getting another tattoo i'm really excited yay thats all.

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[28 May 2006|06:17pm]
i haven't updated in the longest time!!!

i got a tattoo and my mom doesn't know so when she finds out i'm gonna die!!!!
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[19 Mar 2006|02:50pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

well so friday night i went out and got home at like 12:30ish and my mom flipped.

so i was supose to go to a six year olds birthday but she said no!

i was supose meet dave and i really wantd to meet him but now lets not let me.

anywho, i think me and my brother are getting better again.

Everyone should drink SOHO its amazing!


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oh well [05 Mar 2006|02:44pm]
[ mood | pessimistic ]

last might was another teeter show, i've noticed that i don't get as excited as i used to for theses shows and i don't know why. I think it went well besides the technical problems, and the vocals are definatly paying off.

I was standing there and just thinking and i've realized taht my brother hates me, he barly ever even talks to me and when i talk to him its as if hes forced to say anything back to me, i mean i know i made mistakes but i mean w/e i really want to have a good relationship with him but it seems as if we can't.

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[20 Feb 2006|10:01pm]
today wa sthe first day i was sober.

i know how bad that sounds but, its not always drinking its ometime smoking i think me and daniel have a


I don't know what going on with me.

We will see what happens further down the road.

On a happier note i started doing my work :)

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[20 Feb 2006|09:49pm]
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[15 Feb 2006|09:10pm]
have you ever heard this from someone after the cheated on you and then broke up with you?

listen. i dont know what i did,or how i did it.cuz i could never stand to know that i hurt you.cuz i care

about you so so much.always have and always will.i pushed you away because i was afraid of how i felt,cuz i

wasnt sure what to do about it.because i couldnt tell you,i didnt know how.and i regret it so

much,everyday.but i couldnt skip class,and i didnt want to send the letter because its all about how i love

you and i wasnt sure if you wanted to hear that or not.
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[09 Feb 2006|09:15pm]
[ mood | guilty ]

hows anyone ever stopped and though,

the problems that i am having right now are minimum,

have you thought even now while i'm writing this there's people dying all over the world that most

likely don't deserve to?

Where is the almighty God, how the catholics are always saying how Jesus did all those

miracle's...just wow.

later day


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[29 Jan 2006|08:29pm]
last night was freakin awesome, ceci's was off the hook, well at first it was akward but then after we had a few drinks it was awesome lol
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Think about it! [19 Dec 2005|10:57am]
[ mood | lonely ]

ok so i haven't updated because i really ddon't care about life rightnow.

I' a pathalogical liar and a theif according to my loveing brother.

i'm a failur in school/friends/life.

there is only certain people that love me or care about me, ashley, linzi abi and i'm not quite sure abot who from marshall.

In life all i really want is a job but even before that i alwways wanted to be friends with my brother but he always seemed to just push me away and i nver felt as if i could tell him anything such as yes i do smoke pt but its not because its kool its because it makes me forget about everything i now know that he knows that i do it.

HHMM what eles theres also all that shit at home and in school i measn i wish i could have a brother like ashley that tells her taht he loves her everyday before she goes to school and worries about her when she comes home late, defends her and ofcoarse fights with her i'm not makiing him out to be perfect but hes even nice to me no sarcastic comments nothing

I know that i'm not the best sister either but i try and then it just doesn't amtter anymore, i know that i have spasims sometimes and more often laately but if my brother would just sit down and ask me about it, then maybe he would realize why i'm so tense lately, instead i don't think that he would care if i wnet and killed my self or got some uncureable illness or i dunno got kidnapped.

I sound like a complete loser i'm not expecting to get any attention that not what i'm looking for i mean ok i would like J.P to read it but just to be aware not to change his mind if he doesn't want to i'm not forcing him/you if your reading this to do anything you don't want to.

i don't think this entry makes sense what so ever but i'm just venting and no i'm not gonna go kill myself after this.

Anyone that reads this remeber you don't notice how much someone means to you untill there gone.

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[18 Dec 2005|01:08am]
I asked God for water,
He gave me an ocean.

I asked God for a flower,
He gave me a garden.

I asked God for a friend,
He gave me all of YOU...

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.
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[06 Dec 2005|08:25pm]
N is for Nutty
A is for Athletic
T is for Thrilling
A is for Alluring
L is for Likeable
I is for Important
A is for Articulate

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[20 Nov 2005|02:42am]
i hate coming home, walking down that hall way towars the doors of hell, always makes me wantto just fall where i am and live there not needing or wanting to go to thoses doors. I'm not trying to get attention or be emo i'm just writing wat i'm feeling right now, ther only problem is that i don't understand why i feel like this.
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[18 Nov 2005|09:51am]
[ mood | lonely ]

yes ok i hate comm tech i beleve i said that last year but i think i hate it even more this year. I'm at this point for dure failing math which i'm really upset about i dunno i guess it somewat evens it out with harry poter coming out today and all.

i was supose to skip my 3&4 period today to go watch it but then that didn't work out it just kinda got more difficult to do so i don't mind not going just because it doesn't matter i'll just go see it after school and then i'll go home and be emo, sit in the darkest corner of my room crying about how i'm failing life even though i'm trying i guess that comes to show that even if u try I"LL still be a screw up.

the worst part of all this is that fact that i don't wanna tell my mom because when my brother was in high school he was pretty much the perfect son and the perfect student. I hate saying this cuz i sound sooo stupid but i'm just feeling really upset about everythiing in my life right now and the worst part is i don't know why and i don't really have anyone to talk to about it all i mean i have ashley but she has enough on her mind i don't wanna burden her with it.

Then theres the whol guy hing that most people know who he is but i dn't wanna say any names he is thee sweetest most kind person i have ever meet and i wish that it would work out but mst likely it won't.

well later day if there is any.

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[06 Nov 2005|12:39am]
[ mood | chipper ]

why are emo kids wasting their time with the whole wrist cuttin bizz?

If they really wanted to DIE they would blow their fuckin heads off!



Kurt Cobain did it why can't YOU!

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[05 Nov 2005|01:03am]
[ mood | depressed ]

its funny how once people lose sumthin they try to invade on other peoples lives and try to start fights and invite themselves to EVERYHING!!!!!!

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